If it seriously wasnt for this mid year orientation camp I would still be in my depressed stage! but mom and dad dont worry I am steadily walking on my feet with a smile on my face, and carrying with me my AMAZING FRIENDS, AND MEMORIES!
lets start out with all the problems i have, and how i learned. I am grateful for being in my depressed stage i learned so much from it :)
I asked every single night why I am stuck in this hole n the wall place, nothing to do, these people are so closed and dont open up, feeling alone, crying almost every night, writing in my journal, evil cruel things, being ungrateful, trying to make anything possible to change families to go to the mainland, thinking that the only way to enjoy life is partying, being drunk, and everyone morning looking at this town and how ugly it is, hating waking up, hating the cold weather because i am not use to it, hating that there wasnt any fun things to do
But people I am scared for tomorrow! I am scared to reface school , the pullman, the Fonnese people, scared that I will loose my AMAZING HAPPINESS that i have gained from 47 amazing people from around the world my best friends, and counting" my friends in the window!" Gabby you know what I mean. :)
I have never ever had a real friend. They always betrayed me, I never got close to people , and I never let them in. Every since I was a little girl i remember crying on my dads lap saying that I didnt have any friends, i never ever put myself out there, i wasnt that person that you would know the name of......... This experience has showed me the meaning of friendship, and everlasting friendship! God works wonders you know, all I ever wanted was one , just one amazing friend that i could tell everything, have a great time with, just to i dont even know how to describe it, but God gave me 47 and counting amazing friends :) Just like God multiplied the wine, he multiplied my friends :)))))) lAME i KNOW BUT SO TRUE!
So I guess I am going to move to the religious part of my life now :)
So when I was litte I was seriously a HOLY ROLLER! i WAS literally in a relationship with God :) its really weird to think of it now how I was literally born like my nanna, i loved going to church, and I actually got my family going to church... i ASKED MY DAD WHY DONT WE GO TO CHURCH, and we started basically going from there. over the years i lost my holy roller touch, I am not like I was
have to go till next time :)
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